The Nuclear Families Evangelist
The Nuclear Families Evangelist
Going Through The Heart to Teach the Brain
In today´s episode of the ‘Nuclear Families Evangelist’ (A podcast that debunks the mythologies and biology by exploring the dynamics and relationships in blended families), host Traci Dority-Shanklin (Managing Partner at Sisu Partners) talks with guest Natalie Hale, parent of an adult son with Down syndrome, an advocate and an award-winning author who writes books for children with Down syndrome, ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODDS. She is also a national and international speaker and an innovative educator in the field of literacy for individuals with Down syndrome, the founder and president of special reads for special needs (An educational program designed to teach reading to individuals with Down syndrome, ADHD, Autism and other Developmental Delays). Natalia talks about her journey to special needs.
Resources:
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
Down Syndrome Parenting 101: Must-Have Advice for Making Your Life Easier by Natalie Hale
https://www.facebook.com/DownSyndromeReading
Three Key Points
1. Natalie’s program is a physical program, with lots of books, but it's in two parts. One is completely fun, based on Pizza and Spaghetti and peanut butter and ice cream, which is the engaging part. If parents have time to create personal books, which she teaches them how to do, their pages, that sort of thing, great, but some don't have that kind of time. So, she provides everything that they need.
2. Natalie explains what sets her special reads program apart from other programs that somebody might look at for a special need for a child with learning differences is, number one it is fun, it's not drudgery. Number two, she uses strategies and teaches strategies that make it easy for the brain. That's very different from what one finds in a special ed classroom.
3. The Special Reads Program does not just educate individuals struggling with learning differences, but it's also a great resource for families and stepfamilies, which is the mission of the show is really to support families, the family unit, and often we as parents come into a situation where there's a child that might have a learning difference for some kind of disability that is impacting their ability to learn, and they don't really know anything about it. In this reading program, a lot of parents use it for their younger siblings as well. So, they're teaching the sibling with special needs, but the other child is right there, learning right alongside so the program works regardless of the age.
Contact:
Traci Dority-Shanklin: LinkedIn Twitter Facebook
traci@sisupartnersllc.com
website: www.nuclear-families.com
NF Narrator 00:01
Welcome to the Nuclear Families Evangelist, a podcast that debunks the mythologies of biology by exploring the unique dynamics and relationships of blended families. It's time to unlock the hidden superpower of being blended. So here's your host, Traci Dority-Shanklin.
Traci Shanklin 00:20
My guest on the podcast is Natalie Hale. She is the parent of an adult son with Down syndrome. She is also an advocate and an award-winning author who writes books up about and for children with Down Syndrome, ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODDs. She is a national and international speaker and an innovative educator in the field of literacy. For individuals with Down syndrome. She is also the founder and president of special reads for special needs an educational program designed to teach reading to individuals with Down syndrome, ADHD, autism, and other developmental delays, as one mother to another, I cannot believe how much you've accomplished when I read through your resume. I was frankly exhausted, whatever it did, wherever Did you find all the time to do all this stuff?
Natalie Hale 01:19
Well, in the first place, I didn't do it all simultaneously.
Traci Shanklin 01:23
None of us do.
Natalie Hale 01:25
It evolved over many years. But for me, I think I would be incapable of any of it without a core base of meditation, which I've done every day for 50 years. So, that keeps me on a track full of energy, and thinking clearly, as much as I can. So yeah, that's how it happened. And one thing evolves into the next and for me, just attuning to what the next right thing is. And I know you've heard that phrase a lot, you do the next right thing. So just being open to that. It led to many things.
Traci Shanklin 02:03
I'm a new advocate of meditation, I say new, I've certainly been meditating for probably about 10 years. But I would say in varying forms, I mean, I started very small with these guided meditations and then started to get more, I think, more trusting of my ability to drop into, I guess, a certain breathing tactic. So tell me a little bit about how you found meditation and how it changed you and your life leading you on the path that you're on now doing so much for special needs.
Natalie Hale 02:42
Well, I had been searching over 50 years ago for some kind of meditation technique because I knew I needed to just focus more, and also find more happiness rather than getting caught up in the drama du jour that we all go through every single day. And a friend of mine scribbled on a piece of paper Paramahansa Yogananda Autobiography of a Yogi, you should read this book, and I thought, I can't even pronounce that name. So, I stuck it in my wallet for two years, and eventually through a scrap of paper away. Then a friend of mine, who lived in Austria, we were all musicians together, and she was singing in an opera house, she wrote me, she said, Oh, I found the most wonderful meditation lessons, and something went off in my brain. I wrote her immediately, and said, what is it, give me the address, and it turned out to be Paramahansa Yogananda and his organization, which is called self-realization fellowship. So I got the lessons, I started meditating and five minutes was an eternity for me, just an eternity, it was just such a struggle, you know what I'm talking about. The body's doing this, and your mind is doing that. So fast forward 50 years, and I meditate for three hours a day, but it came very gradually, and you just have to keep working at it. But the techniques that I learned through Yogananda, were everything. That's everything. And so, because of that, even though I am at the moment, 76. Well, I should say my body is 76 years old, but my energy is not. So that enables me to do what I do. So without it, I would not survive the knocks and bumps that life hands us for sure.
Traci Shanklin 04:29
Do you have any advice for somebody that is just getting started and how they get over that hump? Because I think that's a big one. We mentioned the body and mind I call it sort of monkey brain. It's like I go from one branch to the other. And do you have any advice and how to get past that initial quieting, and learn to trust it?
Natalie Hale 04:52
Well, the techniques, the yoga, and ancient meditation techniques that you're going to teach us are the key. The very first thing is an energization exercise where you energize the different parts of the body so that they can relax, then you have a concentration technique that he teaches, then you have a meditation technique. So he builds it step by step and the website is yogananda.org. Very, very simple. And you can sign up for lessons, they come through the mail, and it's all laid out, and you get the techniques in that way. But persevering is the number one thing they're going to understand the secret of success is to persevere. And you know, one of the yogic sayings is that the mind when you sit for meditation is like a drunken monkey that's just been stung by a scorpion, which is Yeah, right. So what we're taught is to be patient, just keep bringing it back to stillness. It's like a puppy that runs away and you say, come back, sit, still sit, stay, so be patient with yourself.
Traci Shanklin 06:04
So three hours a day is a lot. That's way more I mean, I'm lucky if I get 20 minutes with two young kids. But that is, that's a lot. And I applaud it. And I really, I kind of aspire to it, it would take for me to think that I could, or would permit myself to have three hours a day for myself. Now I say, you know, I only do 20 minutes. I do a morning meditation when I wake up, yes, probably half an hour, and then I do a nighttime one, which is probably half an hour. So, I'm maybe getting an hour and a half.
Natalie Hale 06:40
Right? And when my kids were little, oh, goodness, I had to split it up, you know, just like you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, it's, I would do probably the meditation and get them on, get breakfast, get them on the school bus and then go back for the next you know, and then yeah, et cetera.
Traci Shanklin 06:54
Yeah, one of the reasons that I asked you to come on the podcast is because I loved what I heard, we met on a group chat. Just for our listeners, and I loved how bold and how specific and on purpose you were, in terms of going through the heart to teach the brain. And so I want to talk about your journey to special reads. But how if we could weave in how meditation influenced that or even drew you in down that pathway? I know you have a personal story along with that, too. So if you could tell us a little bit about that?
Natalie Hale 07:35
Well, as I said, meditation is the core of my life. So everything else just builds on top of that. So in teaching my son to read, he has Down syndrome, severe ADHD, and odd, oppositional defiant disorder. And yet, at four and a half, he started learning to read, I was able to teach him to read with a certain method eventually. So by the time he was eight and a half or so he was an independent reader. I, that was it, my job was over. And those days, they weren't doing that he's 37. Now, in those days, that was not common. But I'm always guided by the core by meditation, listening, what is the right thing to do now, next, whatever. So the motto or the core of my reading program, which is we go in through the heart, and teach to the brain, I learned that by listening to my son, who was not interested in anything that he wasn't interested in. And his brain could not see the literacy materials that were out at the time, which was nothing, nothing for him, or those like him. So I was fortunate that I was also even, even though my background was as a musician, I had also gone to commercial art school. And so I knew graphic design and illustration. So I made his books, right? So that evolved over a long period. But I'd love to tell the story of how I came up with that. We go in through the heart and teach to the brain, please, please. All right, because I had never thought of that before. But I was on a flight somewhere giving because I give workshops around the country and in other countries on teaching reading tickets with Down Syndrome and other delays. So I was on a flight somewhere going to some workshop. And I was in the back of a man I could see through the crack in the seat that he was reading a magazine called Mensa if you know what Mensa is, you know, it's an organization for Super brilliant people. So I was very interested in I saw that there was an advertisement in there for a teaching program, which I had used to homeschool my daughter. So I was just curious. So I asked the guys, and we got off. As we stood up to get off the plane. I said, can I borrow your magazine? And he said, Well, sure. So then we talked a little bit and we kept talking going off the plane and then when we were going down the escalator If I would hire told him what I did, or what my work was teaching one on one kids with Down syndrome how to read. And so he asked me this innocent question. He said, how do you teach a child with Down syndrome to read, and I just went inside for a minute. And then I just said, we go in through the heart and teach to the brain because that is the core of my program, high interest. But the techniques and strategies you use have to work super well for the brain, or you're just spinning your wheels.
Traci Shanklin 10:32
Such a beautiful story, I have a child who has learning differences. So, I have felt drawn to stories and philosophies, and approaches to education that are unique and different. So, can you give us a little bit about what the special reads program is specifically and its philosophy, or its approach to education?
Natalie Hale 10:56
My program is based on the most effective strategies that I have found that have been around since the 50s, they are not necessarily the ones that you're going to find in the classroom, for whatever reason, they have started with different Institute's that, that teach right hemisphere learning, meaning the right hemisphere of the brain, and I was fortunate enough to be mentored by someone when Jonathan was just four and a half. So that's how I started and I thought, oh, my gosh, within two weeks, he's reading a book come on me in a homemade book. But still, right away, I began to teach workshops, because, in those ancient days, nobody knew anything about any of this. So I began to teach what I knew. And then over many, many years, I learned more and more and more, and eventually got into this program. My program is a physical program in lots of books, but it's got It's in two parts. One is completely fun, based on pizza, and spaghetti and peanut butter and ice cream, which is the engaging part, if parents have time to create personal books, which I teach them how to do, our pages, that sort of thing, great at some don't have that kind of time. So I provide everything that they need. That's that get on board part of my program, the part that they just love, and all the books are funny. And the print is this big because it's easier for the brain to see. And then I have a whole second part of the program, which is a series of books that teach the vocabulary list that the school says they've got to have this or we're not, we're not promoting them to the next level. So those are the boring words and into all of that. So I made that as interesting as possible, and teach with the brain strategies, and the flashcards everything big flashcards. So that's the program now, at the time that going in through the heart and teaching to the brain came about I had not written the book yet. There's a textbook, which was published by Woodbine house called whole child reading. And that hadn't been published yet. So the program was there, but and it built and built and built and built. And the last thing I added was a comprehension evaluation series to it. So as far as I'm concerned, it's complete, they'll always be tweaking it.
Traci Shanklin 13:19
Not only do I have a child that has had and struggled with some learning differences, but I'm a mother through adoption, and both of my children have suffered. They’re very different stories, but they have suffered their traumas, so I've done a lot of work. There’s a book by Tina Payne Bryson, she's a Ph.D., who wrote a book called ‘The Whole Brain Child’ that touches a little bit about what I'm talking about. First of all, I think, like, science has shifted in the 80s or pre-80s. I want to say maybe I'm a little, maybe it's pre-90s. But the scientists, think about the brain as something that was brand new or given permanent, you can try it, you can change it. And now we've got all this science and proof that the brain is malleable and adaptable through neuroplasticity. And yes, exactly. Yeah. So I think it's I think that what you're touching on is that and finding different ways to go in and one of the really interesting things that you mentioned that I think is my child has it's been defined that she has something I don't know if this is a real thing or not, but Irlene Syndrome, which is a tracking issue, and the idea of a book with really big text, it sounds like what an easy concept, but it's not done. It's not you know, not even in learning differences programs like they do a lot of tactile and a lot of phonics and stuff like that, but not like that seems so simple. And so obvious and I've never thought of it even as her mother. So we've used screens over like from over the white paper and black text.
Natalie Hale 15:10
Well, ‘Glenn Dolman’ I think the book was published in the 50s, ‘How to Teach Your Baby to Read’. That was the only book I had my mentor made sure I read that book. That's one of his biggest points we make the type too small. We make the type too small. It's just really hard for the brain to grasp it when the brain is struggling with other issues. Yeah, so I took Glenn Dolman literally with that the flashcards the letters are two inches high in reading because kids love to read and they're attracted to it, so they're more likely to pay attention. I took it literally. And I made Jonathan's first book, it was about three feet wide. Wow, all of the time was that big, no pictures, it was about spaghetti. And I made the flash the big flashcards when he learned it in in there 11 words in there. And within two weeks, he had learned all 11 words. He loved reading the book to anybody who would listen. And I continued in that way. But I gradually became it got smaller and smaller. And I've often thought is the reason why he was an independent reader by about eight because I made everything so big. After all, I didn't realize you don't have to make the books that big. You can make the flashcards that big, right that it goes in that way. But they don't need to read big. But I wonder if that mistake was just great.
Traci Shanklin 16:34
A happy accident, right? Yeah, no, I think it probably was, I mean, by no means an accident, but that it was one of those things that probably impacted it, it seems so obvious to me, I wish that I had met you when she was five and going through her. Unfortunately, I think what happens to children and I'm sure that you've seen this, especially having had a son with Down syndrome is that they internalize so much shame around. Yeah. And I think that that's one of the things that has been probably the most heartbreaking for me and watching. I mean, kids learn in different ways I get the brain, everybody's we all get there, we just have to figure out our way to get there. And I really, I feel like I missed something really important because now her joy for learning is shrouded by a bit of fear and a bit of self-consciousness.
Natalie Hale 17:30
Right, and a lack of self-confidence. It's one of the things I preach and preach and preach when I'm training others to teach this program or I'm just training parents and that is our kids don't know they can do it. They don't know how capable they are. They don't feel the confidence because they don't have quick success. So our job, if we can be to hand them a quick success that works for the brain so that they feel oh, yeah, you know what, I can figure this out, I can do this, and then builds on it. Yeah, there's a syndrome I made up. It's called FLF syndrome. And I preach about this. And it's in my book, hotel reading. FOF syndrome is fear of failure syndrome. And that affects our kids with Down Syndrome like crazy. And it affects anyone with learning challenges is going to feel like I can't do this. I can't do this. The fear of failure will keep them from even trying. Yep. Yeah,
Traci Shanklin 18:25
I deal with that on a fairly daily basis. So I homeschool my youngest at this point because she also suffers from anxiety, and it was just school was becoming a very massive source of that dress. Oh, yeah. So we just took it off the page for a minute. I mean, COVID gave us like a free pass, but I put her back in school after COVID. And then they only lasted like maybe a month and a half. I will say to her this says you know, she'll I see her reacting or closing down physically and try getting aggravated quickly. It's because she's hit a wall in her learning. And I'm constantly showing her in the teachers’ manual where it says this is new learning, you're not expected to know it now, and you have to permit yourself to be a learner. I mean, she's nine, so I can talk to her that way.
Natalie Hale 19:21
Right? A couple of things if you can borrow a special ed basic rule that reduces the task size and reduces it twice but reduces it visually. One page or three pages, for example, break it down so it looks manageable because if she looks at it, and she thinks I can't do this, and I can't manage this. If you can visually make it so that it looks manageable.
Traci Shanklin 19:51
Yeah, I had a problem with that when we were going back into school, they forced kids to test that we didn't go and that didn't do virtual Learning. So we had to do standardized testing on boys. And we did it on the computer, but they had a proctor. And it was so it was being videotaped, and I wasn't allowed to be in the room. And the proctor called me, I get this call from New York on my cell phone. They're like, your daughter's just sitting there looking at the screen. And so I walked in, and it was very much it was like a paragraph, it was like maybe three paragraphs of reading. Then she was going to have to answer comprehension questions. And she froze. She just froze. And not that she's incapable of it. But there was too, like, I knew and I told the proctor I said, she can't digest that much material in one place. They need to figure out a way to block it out, you know, let the reading come in stages for a child like this, but they don't care. I know. It's not that they don't care. They stand-up comedy, so what do you think sets your special reads program apart from other programs that somebody might look at for special needs, or a child with learning differences?
Natalie Hale 21:10
Well, number one is fun. Is not drudgery. Number one, it's fun. Number two, I use strategies and teach strategies that make it easy for the brain. And that's very different from what you find like in a special ed classroom, for example, they're using the systems that they've used for years and years. And it doesn't matter if it doesn't work, because then they're able to say, well, you know what, and I've heard this, I've heard this, we all know these kids can't learn to read. So because this method is not working for the child, they think that the child can't learn, whereas the method is a mismatch. It's a mismatch. For example, synthetic phonics is taught in the schools, Down Syndrome regardless, and our kids have auditory processing difficulties, short auditory memory with other cognitive problems, working memory issues, that don’t work for them, they can't retain that they can't memorize those phonic rules, etc. So the most current accepted attitude or realization is our kids with Down syndrome are very strong visual learners, for auditory learners, but very strong visuals. So we teach Hallward reading with letter sounds, we're not concerned with the names that easily come along, and the names don't help them decode the sounds so it is a very different approach than you will typically find. So as far as phonics go, I say, it may not be necessary at all. We have the sounds; we have the whole words. And we have a vast experience with reading. Because they amass a large vocabulary and large-sized vocabulary, decoding clicks, it just clicks in it does. If it doesn't, we use analytic phonics, which works from the whole word, the meaningful whole word instead of meaningless parts, like diphthongs, digraphs, that sort of thing works from the meaningful whole word, and then you break it down. Oh, I already know the letter sounds so Oh, like a banana. Okay, ba net. Oh, I get it. And you break it down that way. If it's been a lot of times, that's not even necessary, because they just simply click, they get it. My generation learned to read with zero phonics, it was a no-no. To teach phonics at the time was not the way you learn to read. So we learned with Dick and Jane, which was a repetition, of sight words. Of course, we knew the letter sounds so it's kind of a throwback.
Traci Shanklin 23:52
it's interesting because where we met, they speak about the life hack for, basically for workflow, and I don't want to say that catchphrase of the day. But really, they talk about, like, anything we can do to reduce cognitive load is a helpful tactic. What you're saying is, you've got a child that has these other battling influences based on neurology, makeup, emotional distress, or whatever it is. So, there's so much going on in their head. And if we can just take, take that noise down and exactly, we give them the ability to hear the part of the learning that we want them to hear. And I love that idea. Again, I'm going to have to implement some of these. I just know that it would be really helpful for my daughter.
Natalie Hale 24:53
Well, you just you know, jogged my brain with what you said because reducing the tests, you know, reducing The task size right? One of the standard things that I preach is to put a double space between each word. What that does is eliminate one job for the brain. The brain doesn't have to figure out where's that word stops. And the next one starts because I don't know how to read yet. I'm just trying to figure this out. So two spaces eliminate a job. And then the life hack method. We're talking about eliminating,
Traci Shanklin 25:23
or what Yeah, reduce? Yeah. And I think that that's an interesting tactic, too, because, like, I noticed with both of my children, that sometimes they're when they write, they don't properly space, they tend to get worse. Sometimes the words are close. And sometimes they're too far. And you know, or they want to get everything on a line instead of using the next line, you know, and, interestingly, they don't spatially see it.
Natalie Hale 25:49
No, they don't see that. I often say that kids with Down Syndrome, or even teens or adults with Down Syndrome, for them. There's no such thing as punctuation. Punctuation doesn't exist in everything. Just Gosh, what right on?
Traci Shanklin 26:04
So the special reads program doesn't just educate individuals struggling with learning differences. But it's also a great resource for families and stepfamilies, which is the mission of this show, is to support families and the family unit. And often, you have stepparents coming into a situation where there's a child that might have a learning difference or some kind of disability that is impacting their ability to learn, and they don't really know anything about it. So how does this help families incorporate good ways of learning into everyday life?
Natalie Hale 26:43
Well, for one thing in this reading program, a lot of parents use it for the younger sibling as well. So they're teaching the sibling with special needs, but the other child is right there. Right? Learning right alongside so the program works. Regardless, of age, it's just that with a typical neurotypical child, you can start at what age three, two and a half, something like that. Yeah. And that's how Jonathan's younger sister learned to read.
Traci Shanklin 27:10
Yeah, what is the most rewarding part of your work?
Natalie Hale 27:14
Seeing parents cry with joy. Seeing, you know, just, "Oh, my God, he's reading". Or she's reading, for some reason, our society, and I'm sure it's probably true of every society, equates being able to read with being intelligent. It is, oh, he can read, you know, he's six years old, he has Down syndrome he can read, if their child with special needs is reading, then he's going to do way better in school. And they've done research on this throughout all the school years. So if they can read early, it affects the entire academic career, if you want to call it that. And then there's less stress on the fretting parent as well. Yes, siblings.
Traci Shanklin 27:56
That's another. That's another issue. That's another and we can talk about it. Yeah, I know you have a book about that. So we'll get to that. You talk about families, and you talk about seeing parents cry. Do you have any personal success stories or cases that you can share with us that you are particularly proud of?
Natalie Hale 28:16
Well, yes, yes, my, the oldest student I ever took in was 33. legally blind, one, I was completely gone. And the other was very compromised. So he had very safe glasses. He was a prince of a guy, absolutely a prince, but he had never learned to read. And his mom was actually one of the co-founders of a Down Syndrome organization. So where I was teaching, so she came into me, and she said, you know, he never learned to read, you know, let's just try this or anything you can do. So since he was legally blind, I had to teach differently. Right? So, I learned early on that week, that we have to teach large, but he could actually read smaller eventually. So there was a massive whiteboard in the Down Syndrome center. So we would stand in front of the whiteboard, side by side and I would write in big, big print. And we would just cite, sidle along, sidestepping along to read. So that's how I taught him to read plus, got to go into the heart. All he cared about was a certain football team. That's it. Every article of clothing he had, from the hat to the socks to the shoes, was the USC Trojans, that was it. So I told his mom to find a book, go to the children's bookstore, and find a book on the USC Trojan with as many pictures as possible. I'll modify it for him. So she did that. And so by modify I mean I rewrote whatever text there was. Nice big labels, big print very simple sentences. So I did that. So fast forward several months and his mom told me, she said the other day when I saw him reading the lookbook, which is the second book in my series of these are the words you going to learn, and the type is only that big. She said when I saw him sitting and reading that book aloud to his little nieces and nephews, she said, I just sat there and cried.
Traci Shanklin 30:17
Yeah, what a great story. So it's amazing what must be amazingly rewarding to have those moments and to see them come to see a person who many have given up on really prove everybody wrong.
Natalie Hale 30:34
Right. You missed the boat at school over and over, he kept missing the boat. Yeah, falling through the cracks or whatever.
Traci Shanklin 30:42
I'm going to pause our conversation with Natalie. Since we're running a little low on time, however, and our national speaker and award-winning author Natalie Hale will return in the next episode, she will share her thoughts and tips for new step parents navigating developmental and learning differences with their blended families. You won't want to miss it.
NF Narrator 31:07
If you're a seeker looking for answers, we'd love to have you join our blended little family by subscribing to the podcast on your favorite podcast player. Want to continue the conversation after the podcast? Join our email list by visiting our website at nuclear dash families.com We'll see you next time on the Nuclear Families Evangelist.
Traci Shanklin 31:31
Sisu Partners. LLC hosts the Nuclear Families Evangelist podcast which contains content and discussions that have been prepared for informational educational and entertainment purposes only. No listeners should assume that any discussion on this podcast serves as the recipe or substitute for personalized advice from an investment professional or licensed medical professional. As the information provided on this podcast is not intended to be investment, legal tax, or medical advice. The company is not an SEC-registered investment advisor and does not solicit clients or raise capital for money managers. Sisu Partners offer securities through XT Capital Partners, LLC.